Every rose has it's thorn
by Millie-7718
Summary: A story about Edward Cullen abusing Bella, and Bella running off to Jacob, only to have Alice rescue her from self-destruction.


**Every rose has it's thorn Story **

**Written by Millie4ever with the characters from Twilight by Stephanie Meyer**

Chapter 1-"Mine!"

"What is wrong with you?"

I asked slamming the door of his car behind me, as I walked away from the car towards the house. He'd been silently seething in the car the whole way back from the restaurant. Whenever I asked him a question, or offered him an opinion, trying to get a conversation started, he would reply shortly and coldly. It was grating against my last nerve. "Nothing!" he answered in an infuriating short tone as he slammed the front door behind him. "Don't give me that bullshit Edward." I knew something was eating him up, and I was ganna find out exactly what it was. He had to stop acting like this, it was ganna drive us apart.

He turned to look at me directly in the eyes.

"There is nothing wrong with me Bella." he lied.

Lies… I could see it on his face, it was written all over him. There was definitely something wrong.

I narrowed my eyes and met his gaze. "There is something wrong and I want to know what it is." The attitude of his was getting really old. So was I. In addition, my patience was running out.

He turned from me and huffed.

"Drop it Bella." he warned.

"No." I moved around to face him ignoring his warnings.

"Bella-" he started.

"No Edward, I'm not ganna let this go. You tell me now or I'll-"

He turned his face up to me, fire in his eyes blazing at me as if he could see into my soul. And maybe he could.

"Why don't you go asked your furry friend, Jacob?" he growled.

What in the world, was he talking about? What did Jacob have to do with this?

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused and annoyed.

"Oh don't even pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about Bella. You know exactly what I mean. I saw how you were looking at him. You were drooling!" He took his jacket off and threw it on the floor.

"Wait, wait a fucking minute. You're mad at me for looking at my best friend?" He became the center of attention. He was tall and muscular, very handsome and tanned. He had changed so much. My Jacob was growing up, and I was being blamed for realizing it after not seeing him for nearly two months because mister here did not want, and he was giving me shit? Well fuck this I did not have to put up with him and his nonsense.

"My best friend, who I haven't seen in two months,"

"Please, you were flirting with him too!" he spat at my face.

Flirting? What is he on? Has he finally lost his mind?

"Excuse me?"

Me flirting, with my best friend? Yeah right!

"Flirting Bella, you were smiling, laughing, and flirting too. Don't think I didn't notice."

He was getting angry. He started pacing around the room. In addition, the vein in his neck was beginning to become visible, a sure indication of his range. It was absurd and would have been laughable that he was reacting so strongly over nothing, if it was not so infuriating that is.

"I was not flirting with him!" I pronounced every word slowly without even a conscious effort.

"You were!" he accused.

It was insulting that he would think that. I felt the anger well up in my stomach.

"I wasn't flirting! God, I cannot even smile at people now! Not even my best friend? What is wrong with you?" I did not really need to ask. I already knew.

Jealousy. He was jealous. Jealous of Jacob? But why? He knew my heart belong to him. He had no reason to be jealous. No reason at all. And this pissed me off completely. I wondered why?

He walked over to me slowly. I backed away instinctively. He would never hurt me; I knew that, it was just a natural reaction I could not help.

"What's wrong with me? What is wrong with me? You flirting with other men is what's wrong with men, especially when that happens to be with Jacob Black!"

"I was not flirting!" I could not help not shouting, he was well past grating my last nerve, he'd sliced right into it instead and got down to the core of it. "Jacob Black is my friend! I have no reason to flirt with him, and you have no reason to be jealous of him. It is not him I am in love with, it is you! How dare you-"

My back hit the wall, cutting me off. Giving me no escape from him as he kept advancing.

"I dare because he is in love with you and you are also in love with him, you just haven't realized it yet. And as your boyfriend, I have every right to be jealous, every reason to get mad, because you are mine! Not his but mine!" His voice was low and dangerous.

"You don't own me, and you can't control who I can't smile at." And that's when it hit me, like I was hit in the face by a gush a wind. I could still see Jacob's smile as he walked towards me in the restaurant. All bright and shiny, spelling love all over his face. Jacob Black was in love with me. In addition, he knew it. He knew Edward knew he loved me. As he gave Edward a quick glanced of his head, knowing that Edward would not stop him from going to see me because it would hurt my feelings, but knowing he was hurting and Pissing Edward off too. Flashes of him smiling at me, looking at me, holding my hand as we walked on the beach, his touches as he trailed his fingers down my arms, him hugging me, the warmth of his love for me filled me up, deep inside. In addition, I knew, I knew Edward was right. That he had every right to be mad at me and Jacob but especially me. I was indeed in love with Jacob Black. It wasn't just friendship and now it would never be just friendship because I knew it, and I hated it. I hated it so much, it tore my heart apart. However, my heart belongs to Edward. It was always Edward and would always be Edward, no matter how much I loved Jacob.

He rested his hands on either sides of my head and leaned in. he smelled so good. He knew I just realized that I did love Jacob, and he was ganna make his point, that I was his and no one else has to make sure that did not happened.

No! He was not about to get his way, not when I was angry with him! It did not work that way. I was not giving in to his wants and needs just to make him happy and forget everything. No way. So not happening. I could jump him any time I wanted, any time any place and he knew that. Now was the time to be pissed.

And I was pissed. He couldn't just stop me smiling! Which was his goal, not when he started this?

Fuck you'd swear I'd screw him in the bathroom-no wait in a public bathroom by the way he was acting.

Which I have not and would never do.

He leaned in my ear and growled, "Mine," before crushing his lips to mine. I wanted to kiss him back, and I did, even more when his tongue began to trace my lips and he bit me. He bit me, he fucking bit me with his fangs leaving a trail of my blood which tasted like metal and copper in my mouth. I had a point to make and the fact that he took advantage and bit me made me more eager to stop him. He couldn't just go around thinking I belonged to him like that. I pushed at his chest, breaking our lips apart, spitting out some blood onto the floor. I hated the taste not to mention the disgusting smell of blood. It always made me sick to my gut. His eyes fallowed my blood to wear I spat it on the floor, then back up to me.

"No Edward. You can't do that. You bastard you bit me! I'm not your property or something! I'll…" he kissed me again. I let him into my mouth before coming to my senses. He tasted of my blood now. He licked the inside of my cheeks and my tongue, licking the blood as if he was afraid to lose every drop of it and maybe he was. He licked every bit of it out of my mouth and into his it went, leaving me clean with no taste of metal and copper.

Before I could open my mouth to object to his way of thinking he grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. "You are mine, and you will always, always be mine!" He crashed his lips to mine again. I kissed him back, pouring all my ranged into it. It was so conflicted. On the one hand I wanted him, badly. But on the other I wanted nothing more than to be throwing things at him. The idea of kicking him in the crouch came to mind. I was so close. I broke our lips apart and shoved against his body with mine, purposely avoiding contact with his crouch. But damn it was still too close. But I didn't want to give him the wrong idea either.

He backed away. Running his hands through his amazing hair before turning around and walking to the other side of the room. He stopped half way mid-stride, when one of my heels, stilettos hit him in the back of his head. I'd thrown it. I couldn't help myself. I was furious! Of course he was now too.

I met his stare with one hard one of mine own, though I'm fairly sure it was paled in comparison. He walked back over to me, quicker with such grace and pinned me against the wall with his stone cold body. He held my arms well above my head and kissed me, hard. Screw my point. I was too angry to get it across right now anyway. I kissed him back, pouring all the anger that had pooled into the pit of my stomach into it. I got caught up in favorable slavery. Our lips meshed together roughly as our bodies rubbed against each other. He dropped one of his hands, catching my wrist with the other before I could move it an inch. I felt him move his hand to my neck, trailing down. He stopped at the outline of my breast and grabbed it through the fabric, cupping it tightly. I gasped, breaking away from the kiss. He moved down to my neck and bit. The bastard bit me again, drawing blood once again making it twice he bled me tonight. He sucked a little, and then licked it clean sealing it with a kiss. My hips jerked into him. He groaned and pulled me off the wall, letting my other hand go and unzipped the dress. It fell to my feet. He immediately discovers that I was not wearing a bra, as his eyes landed on my breast. He pushed me back against the wall moving a hand down to squeeze my ass, jerking my hips once again into his erection. He leaned his head down and took my nipple into his hot burning mouth, pulling on it with his teeth. Hard. He suckled my beast till I cried out "Edward!", and then slowed and pulled even harder on my nipple. It moved even more between his teeth with every breath I took.

I groaned and threw my head back against the wall, tangling my hands into his hair. He was still wearing way too many clothes. I wanted them off. I wanted him naked like I was. I wanted to feel every bit of him against me. I pulled his head away, quickly ripping all the buttons of his shirt off and undoing his tie, I didn't have the patience for buttons and ripping something of his did make me feel a little better. He cast them both away as soon as I had finished and discarded his trousers, brushing my hand away when I fumbled for his belt. He shoved me back again with his body once more and bent down to bite my lip. He made sure not to draw blood again. He knew that would be my final draw. And it would have been too but instead he gripped my thigh in his hand and pulled my leg up, he grinded himself against me hard. I gasped. He took a step back and spun me around to face the wall before grabbing my upper arms and moving me to bend over and lean against the desk he'd so carelessly cleared the moment before.

I heard rather than felt the distinct sound of my panties being ripped. He had to stop doing that, ripping my panties. I was ganna run out soon if he didn't. If that didn't irritate me even more! I liked those panties! Damn those were one of my favorite. I had bought it for him to use for his birthday but I guess that didn't matter to him. Bastard! I growled.

He pressed himself against me and leaned forward slightly to grab my breast harder than he normally would have.

"You are mine Bella!" he pulled back a little and trust into me, hard. He wasn't ganna quit, nothing was wrong with him tonight, just the fact that he was acting like an animal!

I moaned, half in pleasure, half in anger and I trust myself back against him furiously. His grip on my breast tightens as he sped up his trust. He grunted each time he pounded into me. 'And never believe I'd do this gently' he'd once told me. I didn't believe him then but now he meant every word.

Once, twice, three times and he came before me, thrusting impossibly fast before he stopped. I was so mad. How can he come and not bring me? What an asshole. I was so close, that bastard. I slid my hand down my body, resting all my weight on one arm, but before I could even touch me he took my hand away and put it back in place on the desk. I groaned in frustration. Was he ganna leave me like this? I was about to move when I felt his hand on me. I guess he wasn't. Good man. Always knows what's best for him.

He trusts two fingers inside of me as he pumped in and out fiercely. I jerked my hips each time his fingers caressed me. He rubbed me hard, so very hard, too hard. It was almost pain.

"God!" I came on his fingers. He continues to move them as long as I convulsed around him, over and over again.

He held me up until I caught my breath. Then he leaned down to my ear and bit me again. How many times was he going to bite me tonight? He didn't draw blood though but fucking bastard.

"Mine!" he breathed against me, and then he turned, picked up his clothes and walked right out the front door, slamming the door as he left. He left me here, all alone in the dark of the house.

Where the fuck did he think he was going? Well I know where I'll be going tomorrow, Jacob Black, my friend. I needed to see him, to speak to him, and I was ganna get it, whether or not Edward liked it. I was going to Jacobs. He wouldn't be able to stop me, it would piss him off and he'll be real angry with me afterwards even more angry than he was today but I was going to get revenged for this, and this was the most perfect revenged.

Chapter 2- Bella's revenge

I woke up in my bed, well our bed and found no Edward next to me. I guess I stuck around last night to watch us fight for all the wrong reasons again, but he never came home. I should have gone home to Charlie's in my own bed after he left me there feeling like a used up rag, but I waited for him instead. I don't know why? We had the entire house to ourselves and yet he had managed to screw things up. His parents were gone on vacation for their anniversary and wouldn't be back for at least a week. The others had also decided to ditch school and have a romantic getaway while Dr. Carlisle and Esme were gone on vacation. Emmet and Rosalie went to Hawaii while Alice and Jasper went to Hollywood, were Alice could pretend to be famous, where she could shop till she drop. I guess it was a waste of time to wait for Edward. He was way too mad! We were always good in bed, but violence sex is no excuse! I wanted him and no one else, but thought it through and gave up to the wee hours of morning sleep. It was the same big expensive bed Edward had bought when he decided to hold me captive against my very will and pretend to have a slumber party with Alice, which meant shopping too, it was all for Charlie's sake. Edward had to leave town so he could hunt to cool his thirst, so he decided captivity would keep me from seeing Jacob. The bed wasn't ganna keep me here today and Edward wasn't around to make sure I didn't get into trouble or make plans to get into trouble, and even if he was here I would have found a way around him. Edward knew I hated to wake up without him near me in the morning but yet there were no signs of him, or that he had been here during the night. The hell with him. He was an asshole and he was going to pay for what he did last night one way or another. But was I making the right choice? I guess it didn't matter.

I wasted no time and got out of bed. I got dress in a matter of minutes, putting on worn out jeans and a regular shirt. I was out of the house, and it took only 15 minutes. I was in my truck and on my way to Jacob's. Driving there took about 15 more minutes. I was about to turn in order to take the road that would bring me to Jakes but coming from the other direction was Edward's Volvo. He was on his way home and I was not. He was ganna be mad when he saw me turn if he hasn't already figure it out. Fuck, this was perfect timing. Just what I needed. I hope he wouldn't follow me. God, don't let him follow me please.

We pass and he slowed his car. He glared at me from his windshield and I stared back. He was still pissed and would be even more. I so did not want to deal with this right now. I had to get away from him and fast. As he slowed, I sped up flying over 150 almost doing 200. He stopped at once, swinging the car door open as he got out and watched me go. I was still going way over the speed limit as I crossed the invisible line that divided the Indian reservation from Forks. I took a peek back at him through my rearview mirror, and by the range on his face I could tell he was way over pissed off with me. But at least he wasn't coming after me. Thank god for that. I have no idea what I would have done if he had.

I pulled up in front of Jacob's house and started getting out of the truck when I saw him open the door and run out to greet me.

"Bella! It's been like forever, how are you?"

I smiled up at him. I couldn't help myself; the look on his face was pure happiness. He did love me, and so did I, love him that is.

"Hey! I'm good. You? What have you been up to these days?" god he looked so good. He had no shirt on again, what are the odds? It seemed like he never wore any clothes especially around me.

Guess I knew why, hun?

"Not so bad. Better now that you're here!" he smiled again. One of his big white smiles.

We walked into Jake's and Billy was right there in the living room watching TV.

"Bella, nice to see you again." he smiled at us as we entered hand in hand. I dropped my hand to my side when I noticed this. Yeah Billy and Charlie liked to see us together. The future would be perfect if we both were together, and maybe it would.

"Hi Billy, how are you? I said smiling back at him. He was always so damn polite. I sat in the couch I always sat on, the one big enough for me and Jake. The love seat. I wasn't so sure if Jake would still fit with me on it too. He was just so damn enormous!

"Fine!" Jake walked into the next room which was the kitchen and came back two seconds later with chocolate chip cookies and a big class of milk. Ever since I was a little girl, Jacob and I would watch TV all afternoon and much on cookies.

"How's Charlie?" Billy pressed on, moving to go into his room which was down the hallway to our left.

"Good! At work though." And Billy disappeared into his room without another word.

So we watched TV all morning, till around one pm. Me in the love seat, and Jake just sat on the floor next to me. I was getting bored, there was nothing good on. I think Jacob was too because he grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

"Wanna go out to the garage?" he asked walking us towards the back door that lead to the path to his garage. Jacob turned the music on in the garaged as he picked up some tools and began to work on his new car.

"Wow Jacob, you sure know how to pick them, "Pointing to his new car that he started rebuilding. He had a mustang, it looked liked it was trashed. Like someone had had a very bad accident. It was a dark bright red, very nice.

"Yeah I know, found this babe out in the woods north of Port Angela's., nice hun?" I had to smile, he was always so damn proud of himself when he found something cool that he could rebuild.

"Yup, nice would cover it!" I sat down on the hood of his new car and watched him fumble for his tools while stretched out under the car.

"So Edward finally let you come and visit?" he asked me from under the car.

"No, I escaped!" I told him

He pulled out from under to look at me but, before he could I turned my head the other way. I didn't want to think of it, I wanted it all to go away…I waited a few seconds, and then he was back working on his car. Good, he could always tell when I didn't want to talk about something, and knew better than to pressure me. Time went by and the silence carried on. It got warmer and Jacob pulled off his shirt. God! The way his muscles moved. Damn. Why did he always have to strip in front of me? He caught me looking and smiled. I smiled back before turning away. I needed something to keep my mind off of him. I had to find something else to do other than sit here and watch; besides I was getting bored.

"Jake, I'm bored! Can we do something else?" He looked up at me.

"Sure Bella, what would you like to do?" He got up and started putting his tools away.

"I don't know! Anything!" I jumped off the car and walked to the front of the garage.

"Let's go swimming down by the creek." I suggested. He turned and walked towards me.

"It's hot and by the looks of it, it could cool you off." He was sweating bullets all over his chest. God! He was like a God. So glorious!

"What a great idea!" he grabbed my hand and lead the way to the creek by the back trails behind his house that lead further into the woods.

We made it to the creek in only a few minutes. I let go of his hands slowing down to a walk. I started taking off my shirt, and threw it on the ground. My hands reached for my pants as Jacob spoke.

"What are you doing?" he stepped in front of me looking at me curiously.

"Skinny dipping!" I replied as my jeans fell down my legs.

"Well not completely, only in my panties and bra." I said shyly, flashing him a smiled before I ran into the creek. The water felt wonderful against my skin. I came back up out of the water to see if Jacob had taken my lead. He stripped out of his jeans and I got sight of his blue boxers as he jumped into the water. God he was beautiful! From head to toes. I wanted to lick him. Oh God I had to stop this, it was grating on my every nerves. Jacob splashed water on me which caught my attention.

"Hey!' I splashed him back but missed as he dunked under the water. He was so fast! Damn. I felt his hands on my feet a second before he dragged me under too. He turned in the water to swim away but I grabbed on his shoulders and he took me for a ride. He came up with me on his back and through himself backwards, making me lose control. I was already gone; all my control fell away from just touching him. I came up out of the water and there he was right in front of me, I threw myself against him, meshing my lips onto his. He caught me against the waist and kissed me back instantly intriguer by my gesture. His lips were so soft against mine; he moved them gently forcing me to open for his tongue as he entered my mouth. He tastes so sweet. God he was good! My hands entangled themselves into his hair, pulling firm. The burning ache came back, I wanted him so badly. My legs went around his waist as I kissed him harder. His left hand stayed on my back to hold me up but his right went to my hair and he gently pulled my head back from his.

"Bella?-" he started but I crashed my lips back on his. He was so hot! Glistening wet in the sun. Fuck! I could feel his erection just below my butt, it was so hard. He was so very big! God! What am I thinking? This is Jacob, my friend. Not my boyfriend! Edward, what would he say when he found out? Damn! I shouldn't be doing this. But he made me so mad! He had no right either to do what he did last night. So why can't I do the same? Damn that man! I guess it wasn't what I wanted, but I wanted… Was it really what I thought I wanted? Guess it wasn't right! I pulled back from him breaking the kiss. I turned my head placing it on his shoulder still breathing hard.

"Jake I'm sorry!-" I started but was cut off by him.

"Bella, it's ok. Don't worry!" he sounded like he was trying to comfort me but his voice denied his words. I untangle myself from his body and swam back to shore. I sat there on the beach in the hot blazing sun. Jacob caught his breath when he made it to shore. He sat down next to me without saying a word. He was such a good guy, always giving me space and time. Jacob got up when he was dry and put he's shorts back on. He handed me my own jeans and shirt. He smiled at me and sat back down. I pulled my shirt over my head. It was getting late, because the sun seems to be setting slowly, must be about supper time. I started pulling on my jeans when Sam yelled something from behind us.

"Jake man, were have you've been? Been looking for ya' everywhere. Emily's cooking up a storm. Everyone's invited." his eyes came down to me and he saw that my jeans were off. Great! Just fucking great.

"You too Bella!" he said. Jacob was up and handed me a hand that I took. He lifted me with ease. I finished pulling up my jeans and tide them.

"How'd you find me Sam?" Jake asked but he knew already by reading Sam's face, so did I.

"Your dad said I'd find you somewhere out here!" he chuckle and turned leading the way.

We got to Sam's and even before the door was open, you could hear everyone inside laughing. Great we were late too. Sam went in and left the door opened for us. Sam had good manners. You could smell the food from out here, smelled good. Porch up, steak, mashed potatoes, corndogs, fried bread and veggies were in the middle of the table. There was even a bowl of César salad. Yummy! I saw that Sam had gone to Emily, kissing the side of her face that he accidentally scared. Yeah being a werewolf had its disadvantages too. You had to be careful.

"Jake you made it!" yelled Embry from the table. Jake smiled back at him as he pulled out a chair for me and sat down on the other next to me.

"Yeah I did!" he said before shoving a steak into his mouth. I took a handful of salad and in a bowl it went.

"Who brought the vampire girl?" Paul asked glaring at me from across the table. I knew this would happen. You know my friends and they know your enemies. Yeah Edward and his family was their enemies and Jake and his family was Edward's enemy. Both sides refused to get along due to an old treaty that was signs a thousand years ago. It didn't matter what I said because, vampires and werewolves outnumber each other, they were like fire and ice, and that doesn't mix well.

"Paul! Enough!" said Sam and Emily before he could continue. Jacob kicked him from under the table. Everyone laughed as Paul yelled.

"Oww! Fuck Jake!" Jacob satisfied with himself stuffed his mouth with potatoes. I finished my salad before they had all finished.

"Would you like some more Bella? Or a class of water?" Emily asked me as she picked up my plate.

"Water please" She handed it to me and went back to picking up plates. I knew I should get back home, but Charlie would have found out a while ago from Billy that I was here so I didn't have to worry about making him supper. He was most likely eating at the dinner. So I really didn't want to get back so soon if I didn't have too.

"Hey bomb fire tonight in the woods near the beach, you up for it Jake?" Sam asked him.

Jacob looked at me as if to ask but before he could, "Bella wanna hang with us dogs tonight?" asked Embry. I turned to look at him, then back to Jake and away.

"Sure, sounds like fun!" I replied smiling up at all of them. Jake was smiling too. We all left to go to the bomb fire but Jake went to his dad to explain where we were gannabe. I called Charlie, he was fine with it. If it had been Edward, he would not have been fine, but Jake was an exception.

As we got to the party, everyone was drinking beer, laughing and telling jokes. Together they were like one big family.

"Bella, beer?" asked Emily while throwing it to me. Guess I had no choice. Jake already had one in his hands. I didn't really care. Drinking would clear my mind of things, like Edward. So beer sounded great!

"Sure!" Everyone looked at me, as if what the hell? Is something wrong with her? Maybe there was! I smiled to myself. I must have had like six beers by the time I decided my legs were tiered and planted myself on the ground, laughing out loud because I fell and squished my can of beer landing on it after it fell from my fingers. Everyone laughed too. I was so drunk. It wasn't funny! But I so did not care, knowing how much trouble I was ganna be in with Charlie for drinking and not to mention Edward. So I took another beer, the one right out of Jacob's hand. "Hey!" He shouted and grind in frustration. So he got himself yet another and we watched the fire burn bright, listening to everyone mumble.

I continue to stare at the blazing fire that surrounded the little camp site. The fire was burning bright and something deep inside me burned as well. I knew the feeling all too well. I tried to ignore it as much as I could. But it was excruciating!

"Hey! Wanna go somewhere?" I asked Jacob who was sitting by me drinking a beer and staring at the fire too, looking bored out of his mind. I wondered what he was thinking?

"Sure! Where we going?" he turned his head towards me giving me one of those fantastic smiles that I adored.

"Anywhere; doesn't really matter." Jacob stood up and handed me one hand. I put down my can of beer and took his hand; he pulled me up without any difficulties. Wow, Jacob was impressive! So strong! So hot! I could feel the burning deep inside swell up a little more. Omg was I losing my mind? I should not be thinking these things about Jacob.

"Yo, Jacob where ya going? The party's not over!" yelled one of his friends from across the fire.

"Somewhere where you won't be." He grabbed my hand and we started walking away from the bomb fire.

"Jake, you seriously need to learn how to have fun!" said another of his friends from behind us.

"Why? So I can look like you? No thanks!" and just like that we left the party and headed towards the beach.

Jacob knew I liked the beach. Actually I loved the beach! Every since I was a little girl and I would come to La push to hang with Jacob, the beach was always my favorite place to go. I felt like it took all my worries away, like it filled the empty whole inside me with a sense of tranquility.

I could fell that sense of tranquility again as we walked down the beach. It felt so natural. It felt right, like this was where I was supposed to be. I heard rather than felt the sand beneath my shoes slush out from under them. I decided I wanted to feel the sand between my toes, so I removed my shoes and socks.

"What are you doing now?" Jacob had stopped walking to and stared at me like I was weird.

"What does it look like I'm doing, removing my shoes silly."

"Yeah I got that but why?" he asked with a curious grin on his face.

I could see the perfect feature of his face in the moonlight. God, he was so gorgeous! The burning sensation came back and it became very hard to breathe. "Because I want to feel the sand." I ran off ahead of him running bear feet across the beach. Jacob must have taken off his shoes too because he was suddenly next to me running bear feet as well. And the sensation increased as I stared at him, body flexing with every move he made. Every time he moved a foot ahead of the other, the way his hips flexed, oh God I was literally ganna go insane! Was it wrong to go along with insanity? My breathing sped up. I could hear it, it was clearly audible. I had no doubt that Jacob hared it too. Against the moonlight I had a great view of his abs, flexing with every stride he made, every time he turned to look at me. He had one of the most beautiful bodies I have ever seen, and that six pack, oh dear God it was amazing!

Jacob smiled at me almost like he knew what I was thinking. I gasped. I wondered what it would feel like to have to lips of his on mine again? What it would taste like again? What the hell was I thinking? Jacob wasn't mine. No this was not right. But then again Edward had no right either, and I wanted payback; revenge. But the real question was: could I do it? I had no idea whatsoever! Guess I would have to find out.

I stopped running and turned to face Jacob. He stopped instantly right in front of me, a touch away from me, and the flashes from before came back floating through my mind. Him smiling at me, looking at me, holding my hand as we walked on the beach, his touches as he trailed his fingers down my arms, him hugging me, the warmth of his love filled me up, deep inside and I wanted to feel it, needed to feel it. This brought me to the river, his lips on mine. My body entangled with his. His hands holding me. This brought me back to reality.

"Bellahh-" he breathed a second before I kissed him on the lips lightly. He kissed me back instantly, moving his lips so very gently against mine. It was nothing like Edward. It was so soft, just what I needed, what I wanted. Jacob began to move his finger gently up my arms trailing paths up and down, making swirls until he came to my neck. His hands moved again gently into my hair, messaging it with his big hands; God those magical hands were amazing! But I also knew that they could easily squish my head if they had too.

I groaned and lifted my arms up onto his big shoulders tangling my hands into his hair and unraveling it.

"Oh Jacob!" I cried against his lips, a moan escaping my very own lips as I pressed our bodies together bringing us closer. He pulled back from the kiss a bit and stared me right in the eyes.

"Are you sure Bella?" he asked with uncertainty in his voice. He was breathing hard, his breath more than equal mined now. Was I sure that I wanted to do this? No. Was I sure this was right? Yes!

I pressed myself up against him and leaned in slightly, grabbing his left shoulder to hold me up I leaned up higher placing my right hand against his cheek, a breath apart from his lips and whispered

"Yes! Yes I'm sure about this Jacob Black. I want you now, right here, right now!" And I kissed him a little harder making sure he got what I meant. He did. His hands trailed down my waist and under my shirt cupping my breast through the fabric of the bra lightly. I moaned in pleasure as his fingers; magical fingers found my hard swelling nipples.

"Jacob!" he's name was barley a whisper but he understood. His hands left my breast and started pulling my shirt up over my head. I lifted my arms for him as my shirt went over and out, lost somewhere on the sand. His fingers found my breast again, but before I could complain they went to the back of my bra and off that went too. His hands were once again on me. I removed my hands from his hair so my bra could fall away and placed them on his chest, smoothly going up and over every delicious inch of him. I decided I wanted a taste of it so my lips landed on his chest. I kissed every spare inch of it leaving his heart for last. I licked around it but stopped on his nipple pulling it into my mouth hard and sucked. I suckled on his nipple while he trailed his lips down my neck leaving wet lines everywhere before going to my ear. He pulled on the lope and I cried out his name again bringing my mouth off his nipple but giving him access to it again with his lips.

"Oh Bella, I've wanted this for a very long time." he whispered against my lips before I felt his hands go back down my body landing on my ass, jerking me hard against his so very hard erection. God he was so big. Bigger than Edward. And Edward was big too. Even through his jeans I could tell he was enormous!

I groaned as he grinded himself against me even harder only causing me to gasps and made him grunt at the very same moment. God he was good! He gripped both my thighs in his big hands and pulled my legs up and around his waist, just as he grinded himself against me much harder than the last. It was almost pain having him that hard against me locked behind his jeans and not inside me. He was ganna kill me if he didn't hurry. I manage to breathe out "Off!" before his mouth crushed mine again with urgency, while tugging on his belt. Jacob lowered us to the sand, holding me to his body tightly. He felt me fumble with his belt and decided to help unbuckle it and discarded it along with his trousers that I helped move down his legs while he fumbled with the top of my jeans. He was already sliding out of his trousers when we were both ushering my jeans down my legs. We were both left in our underwear, him in his boxers and me in my lingerie panties.

He continued to kiss me as his hands silently went down my body and stopped at my panties. God I hope he wasn't going to rip them too. He trailed a finger along my panty till he reached my lips through the fabric.

"So wet Bella, you're so wet!" he whispered at my mouth, but he slightly trailed his lips down my neck. He began to rub me through the fabric.

"You made me so wet Jake!" I whispered back to him as I arched back from his touches. He was now trailing kisses down my chest and stomach. His kisses ended when he reached me and he slowly began to remove my panties. I moaned just by him doing that, whispering his name "Jacob!" I heard him chuckle after he finished with my panties a second before his lips met my lips and my legs open freely to him. He placed a hand gently on either sides of my leg and licked me. My hands flew to his hair and entangled themselves pulling hard on his hair. He licked my lips spreading them to reveal my slit. He so gently licked back and forth, back and forth. I moved my hips with him. I knew I should put a stop to this, a little hard to leave when he was going down on me. He reached my clit and sucked on me, he sucked so hard. So very hard that I cried out, "God Jacob!" Too late to try and make a decision to put an end to this charade. He licked and sucked at the same time over and over, my hips jerked furiously with his strokes. Just when I thought he was slowing down, he poked in two of his fingers inside of me and pumped in and out fiercely even more, harder and harder. Going so fast, impossibly fast, faster than a human could ever do. But he was not human and neither was Edward, I knew that. Because they were both very special creatures in their own ways, this gave them an advantage in some areas, and this was one of them. Speed and strength, they had it both.

"Fuck Jacob!" I breathed breathlessly as I came around his fingers still deep inside me, going over and over as long as I continue to convulse on him. He slid out but rubbed my clit before coming back up to kiss me with my own taste. The kiss was light but ended hard as I grabbed him around his base and began to stroke him continuously over, and over until his breathing equal mine.

"My turn!" I whisper against his lips as I push him down to the ground and straddle his hips with my own not cradling him yet. I was still stroking him nice and even over and over again as I lowered my lips onto his gigantic cock. It was so huge! I had no idea how it would fit but it would. He got off as I went down on him about half way before I came off him and did it again and again when I heard his breathing nice and hard before he moaned out loud finishing with my name

"Bellahhh-!"

I came back down again before I slowed my pace and circled only his head, licking it so very slowly, over and over slightly adding teeth to it and driving him mad as his hands ended in my hair pulling hard on it, gripping my scalp. I felt his hands extend as they formed into claws tightening around my head. He pulled away quickly before he could hurt me and sank his hands into the sand grabbing huge fistfuls of sand. When he relaxed, and his hands returned to normal.

He pulled me away from his cock back up to his mouth kissing me again. God he knew how to kiss. He kissed every part of my mouth. I felt his cock glaze the outside of me, rubbing back and forth against my lips before he trust hard inside me. He stopped before the full shaft of him reached me and started pulling out slowly, so slowly. I could feel him as he slid against the sides of me. The sensation was overwhelming! I moaned out loud, half in pleasure, the other in frustration as he kept going in and out of me slowly. Edward was never slow, always so hard! I was use to having it hard. This bothered me, and I wondered why? but slow had its advantages too. I began to move my hips up and down just as slow as he went in and out of me still pumping away slowly. The pleasure was building. I could feel it, deep inside me. It was ganna burst out of me soon if he didn't hurry. But Jacob Black would not be rushed. I knew that. He was ganna do it his way and his way only. We moved as one, my body against his, running with each other. He continue to kiss me but was slowly moving down my neck. He groaned as he reached my collarbone. I felt his hands on my breast again cupping them gently, ever so slowly circling my nipples with his thumbs. This tightened me against him as he moved in leaving barley any room for him. God he was so good! My lips trailed across his right nipple licking it while my hands flew to his hair, entangling themselves.

"Oh! – God,- Jacob,- Fuck!" I moaned as he changed positions deepening his thrust without ever going faster. He just kept pumping slowly in and out of me.

"Fuck Jake!" I screamed into his chest as I came. He began to pick up a paste but never fast, just quickening it as he went in and out of me while I convulsed around him.

"Bellahh-!" He screamed against my neck, under my ear, within my hair as he came inside me. He exploded right into me bringing me again with him once more.

Fuck was he trying to kill me? The impact of the orgasm was overwhelming! If I didn't die from it I would most certainly die from Edward. I had probably just dogged my very own grave by doing this, signed my own death wish. I wish I was dead! How was I ever going to face Edward? Ehhh I should not be thinking about him at this very moment. What was wrong with me? Jacob pulled out of me and even that brought little spasms to me. He laid on my right side next to me trying to catch his breath as I was. We laid like that for a while in silence staring up at the sky.

"Wow!" Jacob whispered at last, turning his head in my direction and smiling.

"Yeah!" I smiled back at him, happier than ever I could say to see him so happy.

We lay on the sand for a while just staring up at the full moon in the sky surrounded by a million stars. The moonlight glistened off of the water, sparkling like diamonds. The sky was bright and the night was beautiful but not young, morning was on its way soon. The sky was getting lighter as dawn approached and the birds began to sing. The world was just waking up after a peaceful night of sleep, and I haven't even been to bed yet. Shit!

I listened to the sounds of life, mesmerizing it. Would it be the last beautiful thing I heard? I had no idea! I was suddenly scared, scared of Edward, scared to go home. Would I fine him there? I was even scared of Jacob. I had no clue to what was going through his mind, but for him to be this quiet and not make one tiny little sound couldn't be good. I knew he would want an explanation for my actions last night, and I had none. I didn't know what to tell him, the truth? Would that be a good idea? No of course not, because then he would feel like I used him. Did I? Maybe, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure about anything at the moment. I don't know what came across my face, but Jacob was suddenly sitting up, still staring at me.

"Bella?-" he started but stopped instantly turning his face away. I knew he was ganna say something else but instead he changed his mind.

"We should probably get dress." he said throwing me my shirt and panties. I picked them up and immediately had my shirt over my head.

"Bella wait, here's your bra." he handed me my bra. Damn. So the shirt came back off and on went the bra. He got up and walked a few steps to my right and grabbed his boxers as well as his jeans up from the sand. He had his boxers on when he came back with my jeans. By the time I was done putting on my jeans, Jacob had my shoes in his hands, smiling at me as he put them down and put on his own. Jacob grabbed both my shoulders and pulled me in and hugged me tightly to his chest.

Chapter 3- Morning query 

I had a major headache by the time we made it to Jacob's house. It was morning by the time we got there. The sun was up and bright warming up the sky. We hadn't stopped where the bomb fire had been last night to see if anyone was passed out on the ground, we just walked to his house in silence. I was thinking too hard to even realize that Billy was sitting at the kitchen table staring awkwardly and curiously at us as we entered the house. I sat down in the love seat and laid out across it, covering my eyes with my hands. Fuck my head hurt. Was this what a hangover felt like? If so, then I was never drinking again. Never! Jacob left the room and came back with Tylenol and a glass of water in his hands for me. He always seemed to know what was wrong with me. Billy had entered the living room to see if everything was ok but he already knew. I took the glass of water with the Tylenol from Jake.

"Bella you alright?" Billy asked with a worried grinned on his face. God he was ganna make me speak.

"Yeah. Just a headache" I explained and went back to covering my face. Please make him go away. Please!

"Charlie called a few times, said you were with some friends. He wants you to call him" He finally said what had to be said and now it was up to me to do the rest. He left the room without another word. I truly did love him and even Charlie when they just ignored me. It made life so much easier. So I made the call. The phone ran three times and then Charlie picked up.

"Bella?" he asked worried. I smiled at just the sound of his voice.

"Yeah Dad, it's me. Billy said you called?" I wondered why my father was calling me when he knew I was here, but I already knew. Edward! Edward must have called or gone and asked about me a thousand times and know Charlie was losing it with him. He doesn't really like Edward. Not one bit. Imagine what he would do if he knew what Edward did to me. He'd probably go on a rampage and try to kill Edward.

"Well for starters, how are you honey? Did you have fun last night?" God here we go with the questions again.

"Ummm I'm fine dad; I had a great time last night!" I looked up at Jacob at the same time I said it. I knew he was staring at me, I could feel his eyes on me. It was like he could see through me. He just shook his head as his eyes flashed to the window. He knew I was lying. Yeah we were great last night, but something was irritating me, eating me up inside and he knew it had to do with Edward. I knew as soon as I was done speaking with Charlie that Jake would want answers.

"Good I'm glad you did Bella. Ummm Edward called. Actually he came here too a few times, and he doesn't stop calling. Maybe you should call him." Great my dad wanted me to call him. No way! Fucking Edward!

"Yeah maybe." I was so not ganna do it and Charlie could hear it in my voice.

"Bella, did the two of you have a fight last night? Did he hurt you?" Dear God did the questions ever stop? Jacob heard what Charlie said and turned his head in my direction. Of course he heard, he had great hearing because he was a werewolf. And of course he would overreact. Goddamnit!

"No dad he didn't hurt me and we didn't have a fight." I knew no matter what he said, it would sound like a lie, because it was and I was a bad liar. Jacob gave me a hard glare. I couldn't keep it from him.

"Bella- just call him, make him stop calling here or write him a letter." He begged. I was so not calling him. But would he accept a letter? A letter wasn't a bad idea. But did I really want to write one? I guess I have no options.

"Fine dad, I'll do just that" I promised.

"Alright then kiddo, I guess I'll see ya later than. Bye." And just like that the conversation was over.

"Bye dad." And I hung up.

I took a deep breath before I turned my gaze on Jacob. He was mad! No doubt of it. You could see his veins in his neck that lead to his arms and chest, they were clearly visible.

"Jake-" and I was stopped in mid sentence.

"Bella, why are you so mad at Edward? Did he hurt you? Is that why you-you came to me?" he asked. How the hell was I going to explain to him? Shit!

"Jacob, that's not why!"

"Bella- I thought you actually came to your senses and realized that you love me too. But-" I had to put a stop to this, he had it all wrong.

"Jacob I do love you! Edward made me realize that! And that's why we had an argument." I was yelling at him now, because he was yelling at me. Tears fell from my eyes that I wiped away quickly.

"That's why I left him!" I sat up on the sofa and curled up in a ball holding my knees to my chest. I was having a hard time breathing now.

"Is that why you fucked me?" he asked. He was pissed. His fists were so hard on the side of me holding the sofa tightly as if life depended on it. And my life did. He could scratch me, or even hurt me more probably killing me if he lost his control. I was scared, scared of those hands. I began shaking.

"I did not fuck you!" I screamed at him. I was hysterical now, crying out loud. Jacob got up and walked backwards towards the window. Billy came back into the room staring at Jake and then at me.

"Then what did you do Bella? What were you thinking?" he was still looking out the window.

"That's the problem, I wasn't thinking! I didn't even care what happened. I just wanted everything to go away. I wanted to die!" I was yelling still. I didn't know what else to do. Jacob turned but looked at me. He knew his dad had entered the room, but he ignored him.

"You weren't thinking? You had to be, you're the one who started kissing me!" he yelled. I didn't know what to say. He was right.

"I'm sorry Jacob! This wasn't my intentions. I didn't just come here and decided I was ganna fuck you in order to get revenged on Edward!" I yelled back. That wasn't entirely true, I did want revenged for what he had done, but sex wasn't it or was it? God I didn't even know. I was so screwed!

"Don't lie to me Bella!" Was it a lie? Maybe

"I'm sorry I started this Jake. I never meant for it to get this far. You were always so good looking, and I don't know I guess after I realized that I did love you, nothing else matter but you! I'm sorry I hurt you! I'm sorry I realized that I love you! Maybe if I didn't then none of this would have happened and we wouldn't be yelling at each other like two kindergarten kids! I'm sorry!" I broke down crying again, head between my legs. And I was sorry. I think a fight with Edward would have been better any day. But this, this I couldn't fight. Not with Jacob. And loving him made it more difficult. I felt two hands on my legs, they were very gentle. They slid up my legs and into my hair, entangling themselves. Jacob's head rested on my knees against my own head. His breathing was heavy like mine. I was so scared I didn't even move an inch.

"Bella-I'm sorry!" he breathed against me, still leaning on me. What was he sorry for? He didn't do anything! I did.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong!" I was weeping now. I knew Jacob was crying too when I felt tears land silently on my knees.

"But I did. I gave in instead of putting an end to it when I should of. When I knew that something was wrong because this wasn't like you. I knew it and I didn't stop it. I didn't want to stop it, and I'm sorry for that!" his hands were entangled tightly in my hair now and he was weeping too. He pulled my face up with ease, held my head between his hands and he leaned in even more kissing me gently on the forehead first. His lips trailed down my cheeks licking away my tears until they landed on my lips. I kissed back of course.

"I'm sorry Bella!" he pulled away and got to his feet only to sit on the couch next to me. He held me tight and I let him.

"I'm sorry too Jake!" I whispered back.

When I finally stopped myself from weeping and my breathing was controlled only then did I realized that Billy was sitting by the window staring out quietly. I was suddenly ashamed again. How many times, was he ganna let me hurt his son? Didn't I need to be taught a lesson? To keep the hell away from Jake, but he never said a word.

"So what happened with you and the bloodsucker?" he asked. I ignored the part about the bloodsucker. Jacob was too mad, and it was true, Edward was a bloodsucker. He did bite me more than once the other night. So I told him. I told him Edward was jealous, jealous because I loved him too. I didn't tell him about the sex. The very rough sex, because I knew that would only make him madder. I told him we got into a fight, a big fight and that he left and didn't come back until I saw him when I was on my way here.

"I'm sorry Jake! I never should have come here, but I feel safe here with you and I guess I needed comforting." He never said a word, nor did Billy who silently listened. I knew they both heard when I stuttered and thought about telling them the sex but didn't. I'm sure they knew what happened but never pressure me about it.

"I'm so, so, very sorry!" I whispered again against Jake's chest.

"So what's ganna happen now? What's he going to do?" Of course Jacob knew that Edward already knew. He had heard Charlie say that he never stops calling. What was I going to do? That was a good question, because I had no idea.

"I don't know! I don't want to see him right now and I certainly don't want to call him either. Charlie said I should write a letter. I have no idea what Edward is going to do! And that's what scares me." I didn't want to look at anyone at the moment, so I ducked my head again. I could feel their gazes on me.

"Bella, why don't you write your letter and I'll deliver it personally to Mr. Cullen. And if it scares you to go back so soon, take all the time you need. You can stay here, I'll talk to Charlie." Billy said as he handed paper and pen with an envelope to put it in when I was done to Jake and wheeled himself out of the room and down the hall towards his room. He was going to call Charlie. Jacob got up.

"I'll give you some space. I'll be in the shower." and he left the room too. I was all by myself with the papers right on the coffee table where Jacob had placed them before he left. So I picked up the paper and pen and began to write.

Chapter 4- Letters of Confession

Dear Edward,

I've done something horribly wrong and I don't think you'll ever be able to forgive me. I don't have to tell you and I really don't want to, I think you can figure it out. I'm sure Alice has! I now wish I could take it back, erase it, make it go away; but I can't. What's done is done and I'm sorry that it happened; sorrier than you will ever know. I wasn't thinking clearly, I just wanted it all to go away. Beer sounded like a good way to go at the time. The fight with you was just too much too bare. I do belong to you Edward or I did, my soul, my heart will always be yours! I left it with you before I left. But you don't owe me the way you think you do. No one owns me. I don't know what possessed you to think that? You had no right to treat me the way you did the other night, and for that I still don't know if I can forgive you but I promised myself I will try. And that is why I am writing you this letter. I haven't been home yet, and truthfully I'm afraid to. I don't know what to tell you and I don't know if sorry is enough. I'm afraid to see you, to hear what you have to say, I don't know if I can deal with it again. The way you acted the other day, scared me. I would appreciate it if you can stop calling Charlie, he's getting mad at me, and if you could just not come over. I don't want to see you right now. I'm ashamed and afraid. The day I come to my senses is when I'll either call you or go see you. But at the moment, can you please just stay away. Please don't try to talk to me at school; I'm not sure I'll even go. I just need some time to think things through. I'm locking my window from now on. You know what that means don't come in my room at night. One night if it does happen to be open and you happen to come by and I have no doubt you will, well that means come in, that I want to talk to you but until then PLEASE stay away from me. I don't want to hurt you more than I already have.

I still love you Edward! Forever and always…

PS- Promise me you won't do anything reckless and stupid, like going to the Vulturi. My heart can only take so much, and losing you, would kill me, I just wouldn't survive. But I 'm not sure if I can save you next time, so please, please don't be so naïve.

Love you!

-XOX- Bella

Bella's POV

I read the letter two more times before I place in inside the envelope. I didn't bother sealing it with a kiss. I knew Billy would read it, trying to find out what happen. I had no doubt Carlisle would read it once Billy gave it to him. So there was no point at all. They would just hate me more for making their lives more complicated than it had to be. I didn't say all I wanted to say because of the fact that it would be read by more than one set of eyes. And I really didn't want everyone to know about everything that had happened, specifically between me and Edward. I walked down the hall towards Billy's room. I knock carefully just once. Billy opened the door before I could knock again. I gave a small smile and handed him the letter. He took it and placed it on his side of his thigh were it would be safe.

"Thanks!" I said and turned to walk away, back to the couch. Billy left not too long after that in his truck to deliver my letter to Carlisle at the hospital. So it was just me and Jake, alone in the house. Great.

Edward's POV

I read and reread Bella's letter over and over. I must have done it a thousand times. I had it memorize after reading it the second time. I finally put it down. Carlisle had given me the letter after school when he came back from work. He said Billy Black had stopped by to give it to him. Bella had the wolves doing her dirty work.

"Edward, just give her some space!" Alice said pulling me back to reality. She looked so worry and sad for me. It made me sick.

"Alice, please leave me alone!" my voice sounded so dark and cold, empty of every emotion I had. I saw Carlisle give Alice a warning glare before she turned and left the room.

Yeah Alice had saw what Bella done and knew more than me, more than I wanted to know which was why I wanted her to leave me alone. I knew myself and I wanted the truth even if it killed me. But I also knew better than to ask.

"Ed-" Carlisle started but stopped when I looked up at him. Whatever he was about to say vanquished before my eyes, he knew I wouldn't like it and I didn't want to hear it. Sometimes Carlisle knew me better than I knew myself.

"Edward, why don't you write Bella a letter and I'll make sure she gets it." he explained, changing the subject.

Write her a letter! Right that would work. I knew Carlisle had read the letter before giving it to me, making sure there wasn't something that she wrote that would have cut deep into me. Write Bella a letter, would she even read it. A letter was like talking but silently. Hummm maybe she would. And maybe she would write back. Not a bad idea.

Carlisle saw in my eyes that I would write her a letter, he smiled slightly at me.

"Let me know when you're finished and I will personally bring it to her." he said as he walked out of the room. I knew he would read it too but I didn't care.

Dear Bella,

I'm sorry for what I did the other night; I had no right to do that to you. You don't deserve it! And you're right I don't know if I can ever forgive you! I do promise I will try and forgive you one day. I don't want to know what you did but I have a good idea and Alice does know. She is just so smart as not to mention it to me. God bless her little hart. I do believe that you are right, that we should stay away from each other for a while. I have no control on myself right now and I am afraid because I have no idea what I will do around you, no idea if I can control myself with you. I know I can't .You shouldn't have done what you did, that was overdoing it. I was on my way back that morning to say I'm sorry, but now I don't know if I can still say it or that I want to because of the way I feel. I know I started it and I'm to blame but fuck Bella I love you so very much and it hurts so fucking much to know that you went to him for comfort. I hate myself for hurting you! Hate myself for scaring you! I hate myself but at the moment I hate you too! I hate you and I love you! And I'm just so fucking confused! Why? Why Bella? Why did you go to him? Why did you fuck him? God you can be such a little bitch! Ahhhhhh I can't write any more. I'm too mad and this letter is just getting worse, I just broke the fucking pen. Great! Just fucking great! I'll stay away Bella, for your sake. I don't want too but I will. And go to school Bella you need it, I'll stay away, I promise! I won't even go check your windows at night just call me when you decide you wanna talk. I'll be waiting!

PS- Promise me you won't go back to him, I don't know if I can stand it a second time; don't know if I can survive it. And what were you doing drinking beer? He is such a bad influence on you!

I love you more than words can say, forever and always!

Bye…

-XOX- Edward.

Edward's POV

I reread the letter twice before I slipped it in an envelope. I didn't bother sealing it knowing that Carlisle would open it to read what it said. He and Esme had no idea what had happen between us two when they were all gone. So I knew he would read it like he read Bella's trying to get all the dirt on what had occurred. I had mention a few things I knew were none of Carlisle's business but they were meant for Bella anyways. And I didn't care what they both thought too. I made sure to leave out the part about me and Bella and what had actually happen. I didn't want them to know I had done that to her. Hell, I still couldn't believe I had done it. It was unacceptable, and very wrong. I also knew they would both find out eventually, but I wasn't ready for that now. All they knew was that we had had a Huge fight, and that neither one of us wanted to see the other. Emmet and Jasper didn't know, but they've been trying to find out everything. Alice had kept what see had seen to herself. Bless her little heart, although I don't think her heart is as little as I believe it to be. She cared too much. Rosalie was very quiet and hadn't questioned anything. I think she was just happy in her little world as long as Bella wasn't around. Sometimes she and everyone else would have enough of my attitude and say something awful weather it was to me or not, like "Where the fuck is Bella?" Or: "Just go see her damn it." It was really starting to get annoying, but at least they all cared, even Rosalie.

Carlisle had left on an emergency to rush off to the hospital. So I crept quietly into his office and left the letter on his desk, knowing it would be safe here. I sat down at his desk and turned on the computer screen. I had nothing to do and when I wasn't with Bella, I was always with her on facebook. We would talk for hours and hours. Facebook was one of the world's greatest sites ever created in history. It would most definitely be in the book of records, as what was remembered by this new generation. Technology was a wonderful thing. I was too pissed off at Bella these past few days to even consider checking if she was on line. The computer started and I immediately click on facebook and pushed in my email address which was my name at hotmail but my password that I wrote in next was Bella's full name (Isabella) with my last name added to hers. One day I would marry that girl. But at the moment it seemed very unlikely.

I had messages by Alice telling me to just give her time that Bella would come around soon, sounded like Alice had a plan to get Bella and me together again. I also had messages by Emmet and Jasper asking what had happen, and to get over it and grow up. Truthfully I was much more grown up then both of them put together. I ignored them and deleted it. But I had none from Bella. Not even 'I'm sorry!' nothing what so ever. I didn't see no reason in writing her, since I already had which she would get soon. So I logged off and closed the computer, leaving behind no evidence that I had been in here except for the letter that was silently sitting on Carlisle's desk. I decided that that still wasn't safe enough and went over to the desk. I opened a draw and placed the letter in it, closing it silently. Now it was safe. And I walked out without another glanced behind me, closing the door.

Bella's POV

I read the letter he had given Carlisle to give Charlie to give me. I knew Carlisle had read it. Thank God Charlie hadn't. He knew better. Who's daddy knows their kid? Mine! That's who, smart daddy. But what if he had read it? With what Edward had written I would be dead right now. God bless Carlisle for sealing it. I knew Edward, and Edward doesn't seal his letters. He says it tastes bad. I agree with him. I read it once and that was all I needed to bring back my anger at him, the way he had worded some of the sentences. What was he thinking? Fucking idiot! Did he have to mention the fact that I had 'fucked' Jacob? Did he have to say it that way? I did not 'fuck' Jake. I thought of it more as making love. Edward had 'fucked' me. Doesn't he know the difference? Apparently not. I would have to show him that there is a difference one day, maybe. But that day would not be any time soon. He said he was 'sorry' but I didn't believe him. I mean it was just words on paper, right? Could he be? I knew there was no way in hell that I was calling him, or going to see him any time soon, not with his temper. His letter was proof of that. He had broken his pencil. I could tell by the lead marks that were indented onto the paper, proof that he was still very, very mad at me. No not mad, angry at me. And what the fuck was this about, I was suddenly not allowed to drink beer? Since when? And Jake was not my influencer. I had started drinking a long time ago because of Renee and Charlie. He had no right to blame Jake. No right at all. And he's damn right he started it, him and his jealousy. God damn Boy Scout. Typical. When did I become the 'bitch'? Oh yeah, when I met Edward, that's when. How could he ask me to stay away from Jacob? I would not stay away from my friend. No fucking way! He was not my owner. No, no, no. What did that mean? That he still loved me? Bull shit! But didn't I? He said he couldn't survive it a second time. Did that mean he wouldn't do something reckless and stupid? The funny thing is that he's the one always telling me not to do something reckless and stupid. But I already have, I slept with Jake. That was reckless but not stupid. Did that mean he wouldn't go to the Vulturi? He better not or else… I think I would stay with Jake. Ahhhhhh… What will I do? Stay away? Maybe? But now I had a choice to make, Edward or Jake? I love them both! How could I ever choose? Jacob was my friend and would always be, but with what happen would things change? I had no idea. Would things change with Edward? Maybe? But I knew one thing if not all, that I was in love with Edward. Edward would always be my first true love. Forever! No matter what happen. I knew I couldn't have both. And that it wouldn't be fair to Jacob if I choose Edward over him after what happen, but I loved Edward and Jake knew that. And so did Edward, but they both know I love Jake too now. And I knew that too. I need time. Need time to think, without Edward or Jacob near me. Yeah I would not see one without seeing the other until I made my choice. I had to choose, but who?

Chapter 5- The End of solitude

Well it's been two weeks since I last spoke to or seen Edward. When I wrote that letter asking him to stay away from me, he actually wrote back and said he would, and to my amazement he did. I never thought he would. He was just too damn stubborn! I had stayed at Jacob an extra day just to make sure he had stopped before I went home to Charlie. Charlie was mad that I hadn't been to school yet but Billy being so nice had explained to him partially what had happened. That Edward and I had gotten into a big fight and that I didn't really want to see him. And that I went to Jacob to make sure I wouldn't see him. Charlie was fine with it. Of course he was, he didn't like Edward. So if a fight could brake us up, and I not wanting to see him only confirmed that it was the end to Charlie. But was it really the end? I really did love Edward, but I also loved Jake too. I was in a messed up situation and I didn't know how to get out of it. Jacob wasn't too sure that I could actually leave Edward for real, but he had hope that he could win my hart over. More hope than I did.

I was still pondering in my head weather I really wanted to call Edward. I knew I wasn't ready to see him, so I was so not going over to his house. He never called back. Thank God! But I knew two weeks was two weeks too long. It was not fair. He deserved a fair explanation, but so did I. I found myself in my room lying on my bed thinking to myself if writing another letter was appropriate, trying to find a solution for my problem when I heard the door bell ring. It rang three times only once, I knew who that was before I could even sit up. Alice had come over to talk. Great! I wasn't sure if answering was a good idea but I also knew that if I didn't answer Alice would either wait all day outside for Charlie to get home or she'd brake in somehow. So I got up and went downstairs to answer the damn door. I took my time, going down very slow, taking a deep breath as I opened the door slowly. Alice was there waiting and smiling as always.

"Hi Bella, Can I come in?"

"Yeah sure," Why not?

If I didn't she would still come in. Better now than later. I opened the door wider and turned and walked away. I went straight for the kitchen getting me something to drink. I would need it with all of Alice's questions. She came in and followed me into the kitchen. She waited in the door way, blocking my way out into the living room. With my cup of coffee in one hand I turned, looking at her and went to go sit at the dinner table. Taking a sip, I focus my attention outside the window. Alice followed my directions and sat across from me at the table. I could feel her staring at me. It was burning me up inside. Not the burning I liked. It was painful and shameful. I was so not ready to talk to anybody especially not Alice, but Alice was better than Edward. And for that I was grateful. I don't know if Edward made Alice come to check on me or if Alice was just concerned with my wellbeing. I turned my attention on her, and I think I caught her off guard. I could see across her face the pain that hid behind her beautiful face. Alice truly was beautiful, the most beautiful creature in the world. This made me smile at her, erasing any worries she had as she smiled back at me.

"How have you been Bella?"

Her question hit a button in the back of my head and I knew Edward had not sent her. She had come here because she cared and wanted to put an end to this nonsense. God bless her tiny hart.

"Good I guess. And you?" I looked up and down Alice, and could tell that she had gone shopping again.

"I'm fine. I went shopping the other day." she got up and twirled around in one spot showing off her new outfit. She had on this Skin tight red dress that came out at the bottom. It was red like blood, so dark against the paleness of her skin but almost fluorescent too. It had spaghetti straps to it and it showed off way more than was necessary of her breast on top. It was beautiful on her. She had a long black coat over it with black heels to match it. She looked like the devils bride in red, not Jasper's wife. I wasn't big on clothes and Alice was always trying to get me to go shopping with her. And I suddenly realized what I had on. Sweat pants and an old worn out gray t-shirt that was losing its color and bunny slippers that I have out grown. Damn. She was never going to let this go. And on top of this I looked like shit. I hadn't bathed in two days; I was getting to that today.

"Yeah I can see that. Nice!" And she really did look nice. She must have gave me a look over too because she said "Bella you look like shit! What on earth are you wearing?"She asked shaking her head disgusted with what I had on.

"Nothing, I was just headed in the shower as you rang." I explained getting up and rinsing my cup in the sink.

"Well what you are waiting for, get in that shower, and put something decent on after. I'm taking you out." She got up from the table and went to stand near the stairs, waiting for me.

"Alice, I-" I began but was cut off mid sentence.

"I'm taking you shopping silly! And I would never want him to see you like this!" She pointed at my slippers.

"What are those?" I had to laugh; the expression on her face was hilarious but also horrified.

"Slippers that I've had since I was five" I smiled and took another deep breath.

"How is he? How's everyone?" Alice came to stand right in front of me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"He fine, now. Doing better I suppose. And everyone's good. We all miss you Bella, very much." He's fine, now. I didn't like how she worded that. Was something wrong? Had I crushed his soul? Yeah I believed they all had a soul, but Edward always said that vampires are soulless creatures. I actually thought he might have been right two weeks ago but I knew that wasn't true. And Alice definitely had a soul. What had I done?

"I doubt that everyone misses me." I said meaning Rosalie. Rosalie hated me, and I did not know why? She was the only one of the Cullen's that made me nervous.

"You'd be surprised at how much she does miss you. Edward is driving us all crazy. He really truly misses you Bella!" Yeah I could just imagine Edward going insane without me next to him, driving them all crazy, as if they weren't crazy to begin with. I laughed out loud. Alice gave me this weird glare as if I was the one who has finally lost her mind. And maybe I had.

"And I miss him too Alice. I miss him so much!" But before she could say anything I went up the stairs ahead of her and into my room. Alice followed of course. She sat down on my bed.

"I won't be long." I said as I headed into the bathroom leaving Alice in my room.

I hurried in the shower but I had time to think. I thought about what I would say to Edward if I saw him today. Would I run up to him and kiss him? Or would it be awkward? I was betting on awkward. Yup things would be different from now on. When I came back into my room to get some clean clothes to get dress in only to find Alice at my Computer surfing the net, without turning away from the computer she said "Your clothes that you are going to wear are lying on your bed." I turned to the bed and of course there they were. She had picked out jeans, and one of my newest nicest shirts that I own.

"So shopping hun? Fan-fuckin-tastic!" I said with little enthusiasm in my voice. Give her a reason and I don't even get a choice. She turned away from the computer smiling at me

"Yup!" making a loud popping sound at the end of the 'p' and went back to checking her messages on facebook. I finished getting dress and by the time I had my shoes on Alice was done with the computer.

"So what happened between you and Edward? He never told me or anyone." I looked up at her from my bed; she was still sitting at my desk. Of course Edward didn't tell her, but I thought she already knew. I frowned at her.

"I thought you already knew?" I asked. Alice could see the future. After the fight I wondered why Alice hadn't seen it coming. I think I just got my answer. Maybe she hadn't seen it at all.

"Bella you know I don't always see everything. I have to be looking for something. Waiting for something to happen, and a fight between you and Edward was not on my list of things to watch for, but it will be from now on." Yeah I just figured that out Alice. Thanks!

"I don't want to talk about it Alice." I got to my feet and walked downstairs back to the kitchen. Alice followed. I knew she already knew about me and Jacob and I was hoping she wouldn't ask.

"Bella did you and the dog really..." and her voice trailed off. Good God! She was asking. And she couldn't even finish it. It made me wondered just how much she had saw.

"Alice please, please don't do this!" I begged her. I wanted to scream, to yell and kick and make it all go away, but of course it would never. She smiled slightly but instead of asking me something I didn't want to discuss she said

"Aren't you going to call Charlie and let him know where you'll be?" she glanced at the phone on the counter. I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door.

"Nope, He doesn't worry unless I'm with Edward. And I'm with you so yeah!" I opened the door and walked out leaving her in the house.

"Alice, you coming?" And she followed me right out the house locking the door behind her.

"Yeah, but Bella Charlie doesn't know that your with me." She never left the porch. Jesus didn't she want to go shopping? If she didn't well I certainly didn't either.

"Even better, Alice, are we going shopping? because if we aren't than I have better things to do than stand here and ague with you too!" Her mouth flew open as if I had just hit her across the face.

"Bella-" I cut her off.

"I'm sorry Alice! I didn't mean it that way. It's not your fault." I smiled at her but she was still stun.

"You know what? maybe this is a bad idea. I think I'll just stay here this way I can't cause any more trouble." I started walking back towards the house, face down. Alice grabbed my arm which stopped me.

"Bella we are going shopping. It'll be fun!" and she dragged me back down the road to her car. Alice had a porches, a big bright yellow porches that Edward had gotten for her as a gift for keeping me captive one weekend. It was suppose to be a Christmas gift but he just couldn't wait. She was so damn trilled when she saw it. It meant everything to her. She opened the door to her porches and shoved me in, making sure I wouldn't run back. And off we went shopping. Dear God!

Chapter 6- Shop-Fuckin-Tastic

Here I was in the mall being dragged from one store to another by Alice. And the mall was huge. God I would be here forever! till closing hour. What a nightmare! This was worse than fighting with Edward. What was I thinking? I should have gone to see Edward. Or better yet I should have never answered the damn door. But I would still be here. Yep. Alice would have eventually taken me shopping. Better get it done and over now than later.

"What do you think Bella?" Alice asked holding up this plain dark gray strapless dress. It would be skin tight on me. Dear God! What was Alice planning? It was just flat out plain like me, so it wouldn't be so bad. But still.

"It'll be skin tight on me Alice." I complained for the thousand times in less than forty minutes.

"Oh Bella don't be silly" she threw the dress at me. She was ganna make me try it out. I was seriously having a fashion show. People had started gathering around, kids from school too, waiting to see what else I was ganna wear. It was irritating, and annoying. I came out and there they were my audience. Clapping and appalling. Mike from school was there too whistling. Alice was so going to pay for this. I turned and glared at her.

"I look ridiculous!" and I did. I was so never going to wear this again. It made me look fat. Fat at the hips not to mention how bigger my ass look but also up on top, it looked like I had gotten breast implants. God damn Alice!

"Bella you look beautiful!" She stared at me in amazement.

"She's right, you look beautiful Bella!" It was Mike who said that.

He was standing right next to me checking me out. Dear Lord. Alice was going to die. I look straight at her eyes to let her know she was dead meat. Well she was already dead and she didn't eat meat so I couldn't exactly say it like that. But she was ganna be more dead than she already was. She's ganna wish she was actually dead, than have to deal with me later.

I felt a hand on my ass a second before it squeezed, pinching me. I turned around so damn fast that Mike was still standing too close and I slapped him in the face so damn hard that it left a big red print of my hand across his left cheek. He would have a mark, a bruise for a few days. Good for him. That's all he deserved, maybe more.

"How dare you!" I had to take a few steps back and breath.

"Don't you ever, ever touch me again? Do you understand me Mike?" I was yelling at him right in his face. He had lost his balance when I slapped him across the face and fell to the floor. Now he sat there almost lying while I stood yelling over him.

"I want to go home Alice, now!" I yelled and tuned and walked back in the dressing room to change into my normal clothes. Besides I had almost the whole damn mall. Alice had bought just about everything in almost every store, from stylist jeans to fashionable skirts, from plain t-shirts to dress up shirts and not to mention the dresses. I had it all, and I had just about enough for one day, besides the store would be close in about one hour. I walked out dress in my regular clothes. Alice had taken the dress after I threw it on the door. She had paid for it and a few other things I saw and all was in the bags ready to go. So was she. I just walked out of that store, out of the mall, into the parking lot. I couldn't remember where the car was. I was way over pissed off, so I stopped walking waiting for Alice to take the lead. She unlocked the car and I slammed the door behind me. Alice got in and started the car without saying anything. Good girl. She was just as smart as Edward but smarter. Edward didn't always know where to stop. Alice did. We drove for a while without saying anything.

"You can keep it all. I don't want any of it. And by home I mean my dad's." I finally said before she took me to her house. Alice still didn't say anything. She really was smart. We drove up in front of my house and I had the car door open fast but not quick enough. Alice was already by my side with all the bags. God damn it! I realize Charlie was home. And that made it hard for me to kick Alice out and send her off with everything. Alice knew I wouldn't do that in front of him. So that's why she was too damn silent. Before we even got to the door Charlie had the front door of our house wide open.

"Alice, what a surprise! It's nice to see you honey." he said all happy as he took some of the bags from her hands. Charlie, and his good manners. God bless him.

"Bella honey-" but he stopped once he saw my face.

"Hi Charlie, Bella's a little upset." she tried to explained.

"Mike Newton grabbed my ass!" I said flat out and walked to the kitchen to pore me a nice cup of coffee. Maybe that would make me feel better.

"Mike what?" Charlie started getting mad. His face was as red as a tomato. Dear God why did I have to say that out loud? What is wrong with me sometimes?

"Bella was trying out some dresses and Mike happened to see her in one and got over his head." She tried to explain as best to him as she could.

"Oh did he?" he said coming into the kitchen, Alice behind him.

"Yeah, but Bella sure showed him off, Charlie." She came to stand next to me and put her arms around my waist, as if giving me a hug. If it wasn't for Charlie I would have never let her hug me. "Did She?" he was suspicious now. Great!

"Yep, she slapped him across the face so hard that he fell to the floor, everyone was looking at him and laughing." She told her little story and I sipped my cup of coffee quietly.

"Good for you bells, someone had to teach that kid a lesson. Bella, you ok?" he came to stand right near me, questioning me with his eyes. It became very hard to breath. I had Alice on my left side and now my dad on the other. I had to get away from them and fast.

"I'm fine I just need to get away." I pulled out of Alice's grip and around my dad, towards the sink to rinse my cup.

"Well if you need to get away, you could come to my house this evening. Where're having a family party, and sense you're practically family considering that we accept you as part of the family, you're welcome to come. It'll be fun! lots of games." Alice said in her sing song voice. So this is what she's been up to, waiting for the perfect moment when I would be totally vulnerable and defenseless, like I wasn't with Charlie in the same room. Alice, Alice and her ideas. Great! There was no way in heaven or hell I would go back to that house and be in the same room as Edward. No fucking way this was happening.

"What?" I practically choked out. I stared at her completely forgetting Charlie.

"Yeah, what a great idea. It'll be good for you Bells to get out of the house." Charlie agreeing to let me go to the Cullen's house where Edward would surely be, something was wrong. But I couldn't put it together.

"Please Bella won't you come?" Alice begged giving me those puppy dog eyes without Charlie seeing.

"Absolutely not!" I said as I left the room and headed up the stairs. "I'm going to bed and that's the end of it!" I yelled from the top of the stairs just before I slammed my door. I didn't care what Charlie thought now. I was so not giving in to Alice.

"Bella, honey, come on. You've been locked in this room of yours for at least two weeks. You need to get out." It was my dad. Of course he would come and try to talk me into it.

"Yeah, and there's a reason why I've been home for the past two weeks dad. Remember we had a fight? I'm not going and that's it!" I went to my window and slammed it down making sure Alice heard. Locking it to keep her out and closing the curtain so she couldn't see in. No, no, no this was so not happening, I was so not ganna have a talk with her family, especially not in front of Emmet or Jasper, and definitely not in front of Carlisle and Esme. Hell no. I didn't care how much I hurt Alice's feelings. She would get over it but I would never get over humiliation, never. And Charlie was supposed to be on my side. He hated Edward or didn't like him very much.

"Oh Bella, get over it. It happened and it's over. I've fought with Jasper over and over. And besides he forgives you." Alice was not giving up. And what did she mean by 'He forgives me'? Yeah right! Even I wouldn't forgive myself and I didn't.

"I'm sure he does. But I don't!" And I still didn't forgive him for what he did that night, but most of all what I did the night after.

"Bella, come on sweetheart, it can't be that bad?" Charlie so did not know what we were talking about. And he had no idea how bad it really was. With my big mouth and temper at the moment he might just find out how bad it really was and he would surely not allowed me to go tonight. Should I spill the beans? maybe not. I think Alice had a feeling that this conversation might go really bad so she asked "Bella can I please, please come in and talk to you?" I knew that letting her in was a bad idea. "Sure." And the door opened and closed a second later.

I heard my dad go back down the stairs and then my door locked. Suddenly Alice was right next to me on her knees near my bed. I began crying silently for no reason at all. "Bella I didn't want to mention it in front of Charlie but none of the men will be there. Esme of course, but she's busy, redecorating her living room. Rosalie is helping her, so she won't be a bother. The only one who will be there is me and Edward. I don't like seeing you two like this. It's killing me. I want to help. Please Bella won't you come?" She begged me one more time and just by the sound of her voice it actually sounded like it would be her very last. And I was suddenly scared. Scared that I would never see Alice again nor any of them, that I was not ready for, not yet. I also believed that everything would be ok which was the only other reason I gave in.

"Fine. I'll go Alice, but I'm not going cuz I want to. I'm going for you. I'm going cuz I'm afraid if I don't I'll never see you again." Now I really was crying. Alice handed me a Kleenex and said

"Oh Bella, I'll never leave you. You're my sister for life no matter what!" That brought a mile to my lips. I sat up and hugged her. A real hug and I got back the same one too. She smiles at me as she got up and went to the new clothes she bought me. Great! I knew there was a reason for the shopping trip. Fan-fuckin-tastic!

"Would you mind wearing this?" she asked as she lifted the plain gray staples dress for me to see.

"I knew it! I knew there was a reason." I said in disbelief. She threw the dress at me including the heels that she picked out for it.

"Shut up and put it on."

So I did the opposite of what I said I wouldn't do. I put that damn dress on and went to see Edward. Wonderful! Oh and my dad just about freaked out when he saw the dress. I guess that was what the long black coat was for. But I just had to ignore Alice's warnings. I guess I should listen to her more often. What a lecture. But I blamed it all on Alice. I said I was ganna get back at her for the Mike Newton thing. And I did. Charlie gave her a lecture too, even longer than mine, because she had influence me. I wondered what Edward would say? Dear God! What was I thinking?

This would surely be the end of us.

Chapter 7- Family Reunion

So here, I was in Alice's Porches on my way to see Edward, wearing this ridiculous dress that made me look like a slut. Oh dear Lord what would Edward think when he sees me in this? I immediately regretted listening to Alice. He would think that I was most definitely a slut, especially after the Jacob thing.

He would never forgive me. No, I was so not doing this.

"Stop the car." I blurted right out in the silence of the car. Alice not even slowing down asked "Why?" as if what I said did not matter. In addition, maybe it did not. What am I talking about? Of course, it did not matter what I thought as long as Alice got her way.

"Because I look like a slut!" That got her attention as she shot me a look, but never stopped the car only slowing it a little. "You do not look like a slut Bella. You look beautiful!" Yeah right, only to you Alice. Only to you. "That's not what Edward will think once he sees me in this, especially after the Jacob incidence." I was breathing heavy now, as we turned onto their driveway that lead to the big house that looked like a mansion. "Bella you do not look like a slut. Edward will not think that. Trust me. As soon as he sees you, all thoughts of you and the dog will vanish. You will be the only thing on his mind, driving him crazy because of this great dress." She explained as we entered the yard and the car died to a stop finally.

Too late to escape.

"You better be right Alice." I just kept staring at the big house. I could not see Edward's room from here. Thank God. His room was on the other side. Alice opened my side door. When did she get out? I did not even realize that she got out. Goes to show how out of it I really was. I was so not ganna make it out of this alive. Moreover, if I did then I was really going to die from rejection and fear. Alice just stood there looking down at me, shaking her head back and forth.

"Bella it's going to be just fine!" She promised. I finally turned my attention to her. "How do you know everything will be just fine?" I should not have asked. Of course, she had seen it. "Bella do you not know me at all? I have seen it. You guys will make up. Big time. Trust me." She said making the popping sound after the 'p' in makeup. What did she see exactly? I was starting to question her when she handed me her hand. Yeah I would need the help to get out. I took her hand and up I went out of the car without falling. Oh yeah I would fall. I knew I would, it just has not happened yet because of Alice. Wait, I would fall on the stairs to go up to Edward's room. Oh just fuckin-fabulous! She never let go of me as she lead me towards the house and door. Maybe it was so I did not fall, but it could have been to make sure I did not run away. Run away. Seemed like a very good idea, but I was clued to Alice. Therefore, that was not ganna happen. Damn it!

Alice's POV

She needs to learn how to trust us more, especially me. Wasn't I like a sister to her? She was like the sister I never had when I was a human. As a vampire, I had Rosalie, but Bella was more like a sister than Rose would ever be. I could tell Bella was nervous about seeing Edward. She was freakin' out, and pretty soon would be trippin out if she did not calm down. This was why I was holding her up. I knew it would happen. I just did not know when. As I said before I do not always see everything with my super powered vision. I was not a super hero. Not yet anyways, would be cool to be super girl. All the different outfits I could have. Alice gets your head together. It's about Edward and Bella, not you. So Bella was scared. Who blamed her? Not me. I would be too, and have been with Jasper in the past. However, that was different. I had not cheated on him as Bella had. Moreover, with Bella it was not really cheating though, she and the dog had made love. I'd seen it. It was done, and there was nothing to undo it, except move on. I had seen it too late but I also had just seen if Edward and Bella got back together that they would always be together no matter what. The dog would always be just a friend. In addition, if Edward does not see that, then I had to make him see it one way or another. I have seen Edward go crazy over Bella and the dress she has on. She will shake him up. I've seen them make up. By makeup, I mean make up as in sex. Well actually, because of what Edward had done to her it was more make love. They would make love today. Yeah, I know what Edward did to Bella. Not everything but I did see it in his eyes. I have seen how much it kills him. I have also seen that it is not why Bella slept with the dog. Therefore, that is why I forgave her so quickly. Overall, it was going to be a great day.

Everything was going to be rectified. My only problem was getting Bella inside and up stairs without trippin'. That was going to be hell, then afterwards keeping Esme and especially Rose busy while Edward and Bella were very busy. Music would help with that while the three of us decorated the living room. I did not have to worry about the boys and Carlisle being home early because Carlisle had promise to only be back tomorrow. The only thing left would be to call Charlie and tell him Bella was having a sleep over with me. Actually, it was more like convincing a three year old that the monsters did not really exists, which they did. I was living proof. But let's keep that from Charlie. Charlie was just very over protective of Bella. And I had to make him see that she was a big girl now, and not five years old anymore. But I already knew he would agree too, because we both knew she needed to get out of the house more and spend time with her friends. So he would give in with just a few 'ifs' and 'buts'. Therefore, I was a very happy blood-sucking monster, already feed and everything was going my way. Fantastic!

Esme's POV

"Rosalie, Bella's about to come in with Alice try not to be so mean and give the girl a break." I had to make sure Rose was going to be good. I hope she would. Bella needed all the help she could get. Yeah Rose and, me knew about Alice's little plan. Nevertheless, it was for the best. Edward did not know and, he would not until Bella went up to see him. He spent every single day up in his room without coming out or even down. He would stay up there listening to music, reading, writing music, or playing music. He had brought his piano up stairs too, in his little room that he barley had space for a bed let alone a piano. I do not know how it all fit, but it did. He had a big bed for Bella, and now the piano. I do not know what he did with his little couch; I think he moved it towards the patio doors. I have been trying to convince him to let us build a porch from the doors, or we could extend his room but he keeps rejecting our offers. He has not eaten yet, which would be a problem with Bella. However, Edward would never hurt her. We all knew that,so all would be just fine. It had to be.

"Don't worry about me Esme, My lips are sealed." Rose promised just as the door opened. Oh my God here she comes. May God be with us?

Bella's POV

Alice opened the door quietly and ushered me inside. She closed the door behind her and stood in front of it, blocking my way to escaping. Dear God what am I going to do? My breathing picked up suddenly, and it became very hard to breath. I was just so damn scared. So nervous and I didn't know why? There was nobody around. So why would there a problem? Oh yeah, because it's me involved. I felt hand on my shoulders, but before I could realize I let out a little yelp and turn to see whom it was and I fell down trippin on shoes. I was on all fours. Alice had tried to take my coat off, and I just had to freak out. Now I was on the floor, tears falling down my cheeks as I knelt there.

"Oh my God, Bella are you alright?" Alice asked while laughing at me. I did not dare left up my head. I did not answer her. I had heard someone or two people enter the hallway. So now, I knew I had an audience. Dear Lord, please do not let Edward be one of them watching me crunch on all fours on the floor. Please, please do not let him see me. He would definitely think of me as a slut if he saw me like this, in this mini strapless dress crouching on the floor. I bet I was a sight. Humiliation washed over me taking my last control away. And I cried.

"Bella, dear you alright? Are you hurt?" Esme asked me. She had knelt down to. I managed to shake my head but that was it. Throw my hair I could see her give me a small smile as she handed me her hand. I took it but kept my face down. I am sure my make up that Alice had put on had run down my cheeks with all the crying.

"Bella can I take off your coat?" Alice asked but she came around to face me, to let me know that she had taken hers off too. I gave a nod with my head and off came my coat.

"You look beautiful Bella! I love the dress!" It was Rosalie. Wow! Did she just say she loves my dress and that I looked beautiful? Unbelievable! I had to smile.

"Ew Thanks, it was Alice's ides of fun." I explained still keeping my head down.

"I told you, you looked beautiful!" Alice said as in matter of fact, and walked in front of me to stand near Rose.

"You look amazing!" That was Esme. It sounded like it came from her heart. Very sincere. I had to look up at her and try to give her my best smile.

"Oh Bella, let's get you cleaned." Esme pulled on my arm with a horrified expression on her face, which made me giggle at myself. I must have looked bad. She pulled me in one of the three washrooms that were down stairs. I realized it was the girls washroom were all the makeup and accessories were, the one that had a closet attached to it. Alice's idea. It was big and baby pink with flowers as wallpaper. It was one of my favorite washrooms in this house besides Alice and Edward's.

I was alone with Esme in the washroom, all by myself. What am I going to say? I had no idea what so ever. However, Esme knew. She just looked at me tentatively and smiled then pulled me into a hug. One of my favorite things about Esme was her hugs. They were amazing! They felt so motherly. You could just feel the love in one of her hugs. Esme was like a second mother to me. My real mother had never really been there for me, because she was still a kid herself, but that did not stop me from loving her and the fact that I also loved Esme, as a mother did not change that too. They were both loving, caring persons.

"Oh Bella, I've missed you so much. We all have, especially Edward." She said still hugging me. I knew she would bring up Edward. That was why I did not want to be alone with her, but here I was. I began to cry again for no reason at all.

"I've missed you too, all of you, Edward most." I said still crying. I think she could hear it in my voice because she pulled back to look at me. "Bella, please don't cry. Your ganna make me cry. Everything will be fine." She wiped my face clean and smiled up at me before turning to get a washcloth and wet it only to bring it back to my face.

"Bella, would you please tell me what happen between you both? He hasn't mentioned anything and it is driving me crazy. I hate seeing you both like this." She finally asked as she wiped my face clean. She removed the cloth and looked at me while I tried to fine something good to say. She turned to get her bag of makeup.

"He got mad." I started. She turns to look at me. "About what?" She asked carefully. She started putting some eye shadow on me slowly. "I hadn't realized it at the time but he had. He got mad because Jacob is my friend and… and I love him too." I explained. She never said a word; just continue to put shadow on my eyes. So I continued.

"He got very aggressive with me forced himself onto me. He kept saying I was his and only his. There was no way I could hold him off me, he's just too strong." I really wished I had not said that when I saw Esme face. It was covered in tears. She was crying for what her son had done to me. She automatically hugged me again, tighter this time.

"I'm so sorry Bella!" She said and went back to work on my face. It was silent for a few moments. "I got mad at him; he had no right to do that to me. Moreover, I do not belong to him the way he thinks I do. He left and did not come back all night. Therefore, in the morning I left. I was scared of him and did not want to be here when he came back. So I went to the one place that I always felt safe. I went to Jacob. Nevertheless, on the way, I saw him, he was coming back. I did not stop, instead I sped up faster. He never followed." I took a deep breath before continuing.

"I was with Jake all day, him and his friends. We have always been friends ever since I was a kid. And that is where I realized Edward was right, that I did love him too. However, it is not the same kind of love. Jacob is my friend and nothing more. But that night I was invited to a bomb party with his friends. I wanted to escape Edward, so I started drinking beer. I am never very coherent went I drink. We were all having a good time until we split into different groups and that's when I lost all control of myself." I took another deep breath. Esme was long finished with the shadow and had started on the mascara and eyeliner.

"I never realized just how hot Jake was until then, but it was partly because of the beer. Of course, when I gave in, Jake did too. And you can pretty much guess what happen from there." I finished, but added one last comment.

"I never planned for that to happen. Moreover, I wish I could take it all back. I hate myself for it so much." I had started crying again, and Esme had given up on trying to redo my makeup and settled for what was left. She pulled me into another hug.

"Don't blame yourself Bella; it wasn't your fault completely. You cannot blame yourself without blaming him first. In addition, I understand. Oh Bella, I'm so very, very sorry." She kissed my check and hugged me even tighter.

"I'm afraid of him Esme. I'm afraid of what he'll think when he sees me in this stupid dress." I said sliding my hands down the dress. She back up and looked at me up and down. "Truthfully Bella, you really do look amazing! And I do not think Edward will think anything too drastically once he sees you. Your ganna drive him gaga." She explained with a giggle. She gave me another kiss on the cheek and began to wipe my face again.

"Esme it's useless, I'm probably just ganna cry again." I gave her a week smile. I was very tired and just wanted to go home. However, that was not going to happen. "It's still nice to try. He's never seen you like this before." That was the truth. I have never dressed like this in my life. Not even for prom. I had borrowed a simple blue gown from Alice. But this was outrageous! "I look like a slut." I looked at myself in the mirror with horror and disgust. I heard Esme laugh aloud. "Bella you do not look like a slut. Trust me. You look more like a super star." She said which brought a smile to my face. She was adding lipstick too my lips. It was the color red, bright red like blood. Like a bleeding rose.

"Esme could you not tell anyone what I told you today, not a single soul. Not Alice or even Carlisle." I asked her. I was scared again. Afraid to hear her answer but she immediately said "No problem Bella. I'll take it to my grave." and we both cracked up laughing. Alice must have heard us because she knocked on the door and asked

"Are you two done in there? Bella I'm sure it's fine!" And it was fine. I looked beautiful. As Alice had said, and I felt better, more at ease now that Esme knew exactly what had happened. I felt like I could almost, almost explain it to Edward too.

"Promise me?" I asked Esme one last time. "I promise Bella." she kissed me on the cheek and we walked out of the washroom. Alice was waiting by the stairs looking annoyed with my tardiness.

"Ready?" She asked. Was I ready to confront him? No. Not yet. But I had to.

"No." I said and everyone laughed, even Rose who was standing on the other side of Alice across from the stairs. I smiled at her and then at Esme before going up the stairs with Alice. I saw Esme winked at me before she led Rosalie back towards the living room to finish redecorating.

Chapter 8- The Make-Up Session

What was I going to say to him? What would he do? I did not really want to know, at least not yet. But with Alice by my side, I knew I had nothing to worry about. In addition, if he did something bad again and I was scared of him, I knew all I had to do was yell and they would all be here to help me. Now that Esme knew, I knew she would not hesitate if something happened, and Alice knew I was still scared of him but did not know why yet. I hope it would stay that way. I hope that Edward and I would make up. I hated fighting with him. And Alice had said it would all be fine, so I believed her.

"Breath Bella." Alice whispered. She looked worried for some reason that I did not know about. And that made me nervous. I suddenly stopped half way up the stairs. Alice had stopped too, questioning me with her eyes.

"Bella everything will be just fine, I've seen it." She said reassuring me again. If everything would be just fan-fuckin-tastic, then why did she look so worried? "Then why do you look so worried?" I asked her praying that if it were bad, she would not tell me, hoping that she would lie to me so I did not chicken out.

"Bella, I'm only worried because I'm afraid that you might trip and fall down the stairs. Can we please continue moving up?" Therefore, she had spared me my fears. I could not tell if it was a lie or not. However, it did look like she was afraid I might fall. I caught her glancing at every step I took. She I made sure to watch my steps more carefully. We reached the top of the stairs and I took another deep breath, telling myself that all was gannabe just fine. Nevertheless, I did not really believe myself. Alice had stopped again near me. She looked at me and smiled tentatively. I moved forward and Alice followed me at my side. We rounded the corner and I could see Edwards door. It was closed. It was never closed. What was wrong with him? He never shut his door. Although I was very grateful that it was shut, I became concerned about him. I stopped and pointed at the door, looking at Alice. She seemed to get what I meant.

"Yeah, he's been cooped up in there for the past two weeks. It's getting ridiculous." Alice explained. What have I done to him? Did I hurt him that bad? Had I finally killed his soul? I was suddenly scared, but not of fear from him. I was scared for him. We made it to his door. I bit my lips out of nerves.

"Breath." Alice whispered again, not saying my name to give me away. I had stopped breathing once more. My strange behavior was getting worse. I actually seemed like I belong with the vampires. I mean, I was not even breathing most of the time. So what was the difference? Alice gave me a look and then she knocked on his door.

"Edward?" She started slowly. There was silence from the other side of the door. It did not even sound like he was in there. I thought that maybe he had escaped from his patio. "Go away Alice." he said simply in his velvety voice. God I loved that voice. Alice looked even more annoyed then she had with me.

"Edward, I have a surprise for you," she explained. Ok now she was irritated. Her hands were on her waist as we waited for him to reply. "What is it Alice?" He asked with just as much irritation in his own voice. I guess I was biting my lip too hard because Alice nudged my arm and nodded to my lips, telling me to stop. I immediately obeyed.

"Someone is here to see you." I was afraid he would not want to see me so I closed my eyes, praying but, that was not the case, and my eyes immediately opened when he said "Who?" carefully. I could hear the curiosity in his voice; and, I could hear the immense anger radiating off of his delight in hope that it could be me. Alice gave me one last look.

"Why don't you open the door and find out!" She prompted.

Just then, the door swung open and there he was, my Edward. I was fighting the urge to bite my lips. I kept my eyes on the ground afraid to look up. I heard him let out a gasp and then his arms were suddenly holding me against his chest. It felt so good be near him, touching him. God he was beautiful. His chest felt so hard like marble but; yet so soft that I instantly hugged him back wrapping my arms around his back, trailing them up and down and then back up to land in his hair were they entangled themselves.

"Bella, Oh Bella I'm so sorry!" He breathed against my cheek a second before his lips were on mine. His kiss was soft, so very soft. Like a kitten's touch but; he was not a kitten, and before we went any further, I place one of my hands against his chest and pushed gently. My other hand trailed back down his back.

"Edward, I'm sorry!" I said. He was looking down at me. I did not know what to say. His head flew up looking behind me, and I remembered that Alice was there. I immediately swung my head to the side and caught Alice turning the corner and down stairs, she went. We were utterly alone. I was alone with Edward, without any Alice to help give me advice. I turned my head back to look at him. He was already watching me, and he smiled. He gave me one of those beautiful smiles that I loved so much, the crocked one, the one that captivated my heart in the beginning. He pulled away suddenly but just kept staring at me. He looked me up and down. I saw his eyes grow bigger with excitement by the second. Oh my God, this is what I was afraid of. What would he think of Alice's stupid dress?

"The dress was Alice's idea of fun." I explained in total disgust. He laughed at me, probably from my expression. I dropped my head afraid to see his face.

"The dress is beautiful. You look beautiful!" His right hand was on the side of my face. He trailed it down my face until only his fingers were touching my chin. He kissed me again pulling me closer to him with his left hand that was on my waist, soft and tenderly. He had never kissed me like this before, so soft. It was amazing! I was so caught up with his kisses that I had not seen or felt, or even realized that he had moved us away from the door. The door was now closed, but not locked.

His hands wrapped around my body, holding me against him. I felt his hands slide down to my ass and he squeezed but not too hard. Damn, he was being so soft. I guess he wanted to make up for the last time when he was so rough and hard. I liked it hard, but he being so soft was a side that I never saw before. He squeezed me again a second before he lifted me in his hands, holding me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and trailed my hands to his hair, entangling them while still kissing him. He pressed himself against me, not too hard but enough to make me pull away from his kiss and gasp. He never stopped kissing me. His lips kissed my jaw and slowly kissed my neck until he reached my ear. I giggled because that was my tickle spot. As he kissed me there, on the ear, he slowly lay me down on the big bed he had bought for this reason.

He stayed above me but left enough space so he could trail his hands up and down my body. His hands gently caressed my arms, my shoulders, even my breast; he made his way to my thighs and legs until he reached the end of the dress and began moving his hands back up the dress, higher up my body exposing me to him. He kissed me on the lips as he had before gently but paused to lift the dress over my head; removing it completely. I removed my hands from his hair and began undoing his buttons on his shirt. When I had all the buttons done, I pushed it off his body baring his magnificent chest. I slide my hands across his chest lightly as possible, letting my hands explore his body. He was hot and I ran my hands over his muscular chest, right over his heart; I swear I could feel his heart beating as I also felt his hair between my fingers. It felt so real, so natural against my skin but I knew there was no pulse; that it was my heart I felt against his chest instead of his because vampires apparently had no heart or soul for that matter.

I did not believe that; that vampire had no heart or soul; to me it was all a stupid joke. Edward had a soul, and if he had a soul then he had a heart too. It was that simple. But did I really believe that myth? No, I didn't, I knew it was his heart that I had felt. That I could still feel beneath my fingers. Leaning in I kissed his neck gently as I began undoing the snap on his jeans, and the sipper. I began pulling them down his waist but I tugged on it instead, and down went his jeans. There were no underwear to remove, he didn't wear them often, said; they irritated him and that he just hated wearing them. That they were a waste of money and, his time, which explain why he always ripped my panties pulled it off completely when they made it to his feet because I could not reach them; then his hands were back on my breast. He ran his tongue along my neck while his hands moved over the smooth hot skin of my breast, down my belly, past my navel, and up again. I knew he could feel my heart beneath my skin, my blood pulsing in my veins; which is why he lingered there so long. I knew I drove him mad, crazy, insane, and out of his mind. I felt his hands on my back trying to remove the bra I was wearing. I helped and off it came too reveling me to him. His hands covered them completely. He was very gentle, as he played with my breast, not as rough as the last time. The sensations were amazing! He removed his hands from my breast only to replace them by his mouth so that he could remove my panties. I was about to say: Don't rip them but was caught off guard as he began sliding them down my legs. He had not ripped them. Unbelievable. This was so not like him, what was wrong with him? What was he up to? Or am I just freakin out a little too much for something that could be nothing to worry about? Maybe I was.

My back was slightly arched as he rolled atop of me in one fluid motion. He was on all fours above me, naked; he's knees astride my hips. I lifted my head and kissed his chin and neck, breathing hard, licking his shoulders, and tasting the sweat that lingered on his body. I ran my hands through his hair again as he held himself above me, his arm muscles hard from the exertion. With a little tempting frown, I pulled him closer, but he resisted. Instead, he lowered himself and lightly rubbed his cheat against mine, and I felt my body responded with anticipation. He did this slowly, over and, over, kissing every part of my body, listening as I made soft, whimpering sounds while he moved above me. He did this until I could not take it anymore, and when he finally entered me, when we were finally joined as one, I cried aloud and pressed my fingers hard into his back before I trailed them downward leaving marks behind. I buried my face in his neck and he did the same with his but nibbled at mine. I felt him deep inside me, felt his strength that could crush me and, his gentleness at the same time, I felt his muscles flex as I felt his soul. Just then, I knew he really had one, a soul and that he truly loved me.

I moved rhythmically against him, allowing him to take me wherever he wanted, to the place I was meant to be. His nibbling at my neck turned to biting gently and, I knew what he was asking for. He was asking permission to bite me, to drink my blood so he could finish it and bring both of us together as we were meant to be. I remembered Alice saying that he has not been eating properly, avoiding the thirst, and I wondered if him biting me was a good idea, but I couldn't deny him when we were both so close so I said:

"Yes Edward, go God, go." I opened my eyes not realizing that I had closed them and, I watched him in the window, marveling at his beauty as he moved above me. I saw his body glisten with crystal sweat and watched as beads rolled down his chest and fell onto me. I watched as the rays of sun that shown through the windows making million of tiny, sparkly, crystal like diamonds all over his body, making him look magical. And with every drop of sweat, with every diamond that sparkled off him, with every breath, I felt myself, every responsibility, every reason of my life, slipping away.

That was the moment that Edward had decided to bite me, to suck my blood, my life, to bring me. I felt his teeth sink in and the pain aroused but was quickly replace by pleasure so pure, so true, and so wonderful. It was at that moment with him piercing me, inside of me, that our bodies were truly joined as one, reflecting everything given, everything taken, and I was rewarded with a sensation I never felt before that I never knew existed. It went on and, on, tingling throughout my body and warming me before finally subsiding, and I struggled to catch my breath while I trembled beneath him. But the moment it was over, another one started to build again, and I started to feel them in long sequences, one right after the next before I felt him pull out, retracting his fangs from my neck, a second before he came screaming my name aloud, bringing me with him again.

When I was quiet and our breathing was equal he kissed me on the lips with the taste of my blood; witch tasted like metallic copper. Like when you stick a fork or spoon in your mouth and it still has that quality of new. He kissed me and the heat returned, and he felt it too for he pushed in a little harder but not hard like the last time, hard enough for me to catch my breath and for him to groan. In and, out he went until he brought me again and, again, over and, over continuously. By the time supper had came and the sun was now setting slowly which I could see it through the window, my body was exhausted but unwilling to stop the pleasure between us. We spent the day in each other's arms, alternately making love on the big bed entangled with a golden bed sheet and holding each other as we watched the sun set through the window.

We lay there until it was nightfall and his bedroom was filled with darkness. The darkness was intoxicating. There was a silence so thick that neither one of us said a word for a very long time. I kept wondering what Edward was thinking? Why he was being so quiet? I guess he was thinking the same thing too. We both lay there listening to nothing; there wasn't even a sound to be heard. I couldn't even tell if Esme, Rosalie, and, Alice were still down there redecorating. My guess was that they had left to do some more shopping in order to give us some privacy. Edward's fingers entailed themselves into my hair; he kept play with it, twirling it in between his fingers. My body was press up against Edward body. My back and butt to his wonderful chest and thighs. He held me with his other hand around my belly cradling me to him like a child who needed protecting. I was too scared to say anything, so I kept quiet; hopping that he would think that I was asleep.

"Bella-" He whispered against my ear but stopped. I waited for him to go on and, when he did not I turned around to face him. I saw in his eyes and, that he was suddenly at a loss for words. It looked as if he was waiting for me to make a move or say something else. I didn't know what to do. They only thing I knew I could do was say I'm sorry. That seemed like the right thing to do.

"Edward'- I took a deep breath. 'I'm really truly sorry! I never meant to hurt you." I could feel the tears that I've been holding back all day slide down my face. I tried to hide my face by ducking it into the pillow between his chest and mine; but before I had the chance he lifted my chin and kissed me on the lips.

"I love you Bella!" He breathed against my lips.

"I love you too!"

*Please give me feedback, Thanks

Again written by Millie4ever with the characters from Twilight by Stephanie Meyer


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